It's been a while...

It has been a while for sure. I was so angry the last time I posted that I just stopped.

I am still angry but for different reasons.

2011 was quite the year wasn't it? It was hard for some many different people and I can't imagine having to go through all that again. Some of it, by my control, won't happen because I am in charge of my actions and won't dive into any of what caused the issue last year but there are other things that I am not in control of and those are what scare me.

I know that in all things at all times that trusting God is the number one thing a person can do. I have been taught this since a little kid and have tried to practice it on a daily basis. God has helped where no one else could...the same day I lost a job in college I got a job...things like that happen to me for no other reason than God.

But there are times, in weakness, I doubt. Don't we all though? No one that reads this blog can actually look back on their lives as a Christian and say...I have never doubted that God would come through. Worry is doubt isn't it?

But what do you do during those times that you are angry and upset and worrying about that which you can't control? Pray? Read Scriptures? Those are the things that we are supposed to do aren't we?

A friend gave me this verse today when I found out that my beloved grandpa, Pampa as we call him, has a form of cancer that can not be cured but can only be "maintained" if it hasn't spread to other areas i.e. bones. It hurts to hear that news because I love him and and would gladly take his spot if I could.

Psalm 120:1

In my distress I cried unto the LORD, and he heard me.


It helps really. I have cried so many tears and those people that follow me on twitter know that I am verbal about what ails me.

But the great thing I find is that even while I am still finding the legs to trust and call I have friends that are picking up where I am lacking...they are crying out for me, for my family, for my Pampa...even when I can't find the words because the tears choke them out.